Phase 1

What a fun party that is, most of the hours spent alone, numbing myself.  I honestly had myself convinced that this life I was leading was somehow cool or fun, I was always surrounded by entertaining people that liked me, and most importantly, I was successfully stuffing emotions, feelings, and reality deeper and deeper down to where they would surely never be felt. 

Acceptance

For some of us we cannot accept the situation that we have got ourselves into, we can`t accept that we are powerless over our disease, and therefore we cannot accept that we are not in control.  Since we were toddlers, we have been grappling for control of our lives.  The fact is, the choices that we make do inevitably control our own lives. 

Severing the Snake

It is a perpetual cycle of having a day or a few days clean, then the impulse creeps up in our mind and explodes like a time-bomb.  We must develop some skills to sever the snake.

Openness & Honesty

We can let go of all the shame and guilt we were holding onto for so long and latch onto being authentic, to ourselves and those around us that matter.

Coping Mechanisms

I have found out firsthand, that life without those substances is not only worth living, it is worth everything.  It is worth relocating, cutting ties with people I have known my whole life, changing my complete thought process, and looking at life through a different lens.

Goals

I first set some small goals but I set my small goals up in a way that they would inevitably lead to much larger goals, without overwhelming myself by staring at the larger goal or goals.  My first goal was, as you guessed it to stay clean one day.

Contentment & Happiness

To be happy all the time and to beam rays of sunshine out of every orifice in your body seems to be a bit of a stretch, for anyone.  I do not want to be fake in my recovery, the fake it ’til you make it approach may work for some, but in my recovery, I want to stay true to myself. 

Boundaries

Facing life means telling these negative people we can no longer associate with them.  We can feel confidence and pride when saying that we are moving in a different direction because we are standing up for ourselves and we are also setting a good example for them.

Emotions & Feelings

We found comfort in chaos.  Now, we tend to avoid the disorder and confusion and enjoy the smooth ride.  But, this isn’t so easy for someone that only found solace in difficulty.  We must change every aspect of our life and this is a key feature that can get overlooked.

Preventing Boredom

We lived and breathed disorderly chaos, so when that is no longer present we may tend to feel “bored” with our new life.  But, I would like to challenge that this feeling of boredom can be challenged and beaten.

Avoiding Negativity

In early recovery, these triggers can be overwhelming and even cause an all-out panic attack for some.  I can safely say that they do lessen, and eventually go away the further removed we get from addictive behavior.

Criticism & Compliment

Taking certain criticisms over others is another thing that makes us unique.  I cannot tell you what your boundaries are, only you know that.  You know what buttons people press that get you steaming, you installed those buttons yourself.

Judgements

What I am suggesting is that we get rid of the negative boxes we put people in and start putting them into more humane groupings.  If we can recognize when we judge someone else on their actions, then we can work toward not doing so in the future.

EGO

For the length of our addiction, our sense of self revolved around substances and behaviors of choice.  All we knew about ourselves was intertwined with our addiction.  We thought we had all of the answers, and were sure that anyone who disagreed was trying to rain on our parade.

Anger Management

When we accept the fact that we are in the exact moment in time and space that we are supposed to be in, we will be a lot more capable of dealing with issues that annoy or anger us.

Character Defects

Most of us are pretty aware of our strengths.  It is our weaknesses that want to hide from our conscious mind.  It is up to us to unearth them and work at them.

Genetic Vs. Environmental

Genetics can directly affect the environment.  For instance, if a child’s parents are active in their addictions – then the environment the child is growing up in will be very conducive to becoming an addict.  The child will be around the substances/behaviors and will learn that this chaos is all part of life and it will become “normal” to them.

Self-Care

Self-care is not strictly about doing what feels good.  That is more the definition of hedonism.  It is about doing what is best for ourselves and what is necessary for our contentment and serenity, and sometimes what is best for us does not feel good. 

Conclusion & Moving Forward

“Normal is just a cycle in the washing machine.”

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